Inspire me WordPress

Updated: Apr 20

It is hard to think of a time that I have gone through a very terrible case of the butterflies. A time where I was so nervous that it didn’t make sense. Honestly I have times like that often because I can suffer from a great amount of nervousness. As a performer most of my life {I’ve kind of been forcibly pushed out but that’s another story for another post} I would have a habit of getting nervous before performing. Even when I performed with my best friend I got a case of stage fright. She was always very good at calming me down which is why I love her so much. But if I possibly had to think of one good time where I was nervous out of my mind with the worst case of butterflies I could experience it would be in January of this year when I met the awesome and great Maya Angelou.

Dr. Angelou is great, just purely wonderful. She is the Phenomenal Woman which she describes in her poem. Her story, somewhat similar to mine {minus the fame, not quite there yet}, is why I became instantly inspired by her when I read one of her poems. Still I Rise was one of my favorite poems by her. It was the first poem I had ever read by her. The poem embodied how I felt at the time as a child. I grew in the same way as the poem evolved and progressed. As a child I felt like…

Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops. Weakened by my soulful cries.

I have definitely grown through time getting closer to God, getting involved in my church, and having a better significant other that lifted me up more then they caused me problems.

Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I’ve got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs?

It may sound a little cocky but that is how I feel sometimes. As though people are slightly upset that I am growing into my own. I’m going to be the Chair (President) of my club next year. And best believe there was opposition, but know I made it out on the top. I’m happy that things are working out for me, and I may not have some of the things they have, but baby I’ve got everything I need and everything I could have wanted for the time being. I’m more than satisfied right now. I’m so full I have to take time to pour into people in the mean time. Then get filled up to do it all over again.

Out of the huts of history’s shame I rise Up from a past that’s rooted in pain I rise I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise. Maya Angelou

Dr. Angelou has inspired me so much and it warmed my heart when I was able to meet her. That day I was so nervous I was constantly trying to make sure that everything was perfect. First, I was supposed to not tell anyone I was going to be able to meet her; so it was so funny watching me try to keep a secret I wanted to put on display. I made sure my hair, makeup, and outfit was awesome to a tee because I wanted to make sure I made the best impression on her. It took us a little while to finally be able to meet her, but when she came into the room and started to speak my eyes filled up with tears. I was finally meeting the woman I had always looked up to. Who helped me through my transition to become a great woman of God I still am becoming. She helped me realize that people are going to hate and that’s okay because I’m still a beautiful, wonderful, strong, black woman. When I sat down next to her for pictures, and she held my hand, I felt her beautiful spirit. She was able to talk to me without saying many words but I made sure I thanked her for coming to our school, and allowing me to see her. Not many people that day could say that she held their hand. And not only did she hold my hand but she held it tight, and I felt her love.

For I never knew I would be able to experience that moment and when I did, there was no one that could tell me there’s not a God. God made that all possible. I’m still so grateful and so thankful for that day. I will remember it forever.

They say the proof is in the pudding…

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