Jumping straight into the recipe...
1 whole Cauliflower
2 Eggs (mine come from my friend who owns a chicken farm)
Hot sauce ( I used Texas Pete)
Remove the leaves off of the cauliflower. Cut it and pull off the "wings." Or you can pull off the "wings." Truly do whichever is easier because I tried to make steak and the "wings" fell off so I continued to snap it.
Grab two bowls. In the first bowl, you will make your wet dredge. Crack the two eggs, dab some hot sauce (what you deem okay), and about 3 dabs of sesame oil. Beat the eggs until they are fully mixed.
In the second bowl, you will make your dry dredge. Mix together 1-2 cups of flour, paprika, rosemary, salt (about two pinches), black pepper (3 pinches), garlic powder, onion powder, and chili powder. Use your nose to smell if it is fragrant enough. Whisk together the flour mix. I went back and added more of the same spices because it still mostly looked like flour.
In a medium-high pot for frying, add about enough oil where you could dip your finger (omg do not do this with the stove on) until it reaches about halfway in between the first two lines on your finger.
When the oil starts to sing (pop pop pop) to you, it is ready to fry.
Dip the cauliflower in the flour, then the egg mixture, then the flour. Drop it in oil. Repeat.
Pull out the cauliflower when it reaches the color you prefer. Some people like them dark. I like mine golden brown like in the picture. Place it on a paper towel or wire rack for the oil to drip.
Set aside the "wings," possibly on a cookie sheet in the microwave to stay warm.
Mushroom Gravy (inspired by Betty Crocker):
1 tablespoon of the vegetable oil used for the "wings" (get the bits)
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup of coconut cream
1 cup of sauteed mushrooms
Using the same pan you used for the wings, pour out majority of the oil and leave about 1 tablespoon with some of the bits or just enough to cover the bottom of the pan. (Omg please be careful with the hot oil. I messed this up and used too much oil). Add the flour and whisk it real good until it gets smooth. Add in a cup of coconut cream and whisk it together. Now add the sauteed mushrooms, salt, pepper, paprika, and Umami to taste. Taste it and adjust as needed. Make sure it is nice and smooth.
1 box of sauteed spinach
In a frying pan add a drizzle of olive oil and place it on medium high heat. When the oil starts to sing add in the sauteed spinach. Sautee it until it it unfrozen and a nice deep green color. While still on the heat, add in a pinch of salt, pepper, and a squeeze of half a lemon.
For the couscous I used the instructions off of the box, because I bought some quick 5 minute couscous! I added nothing to it.
To serve: Pour that gravy on everythingggg! Then I garnished with german thyme. Tell me how it goes!